PlanetSmeg

WARNING !

CLASSIFIED INFORMATION

Based on a document by Charles Daniels

MISSION - It is our primary overriding duty to contact other life forms, exchange information, and, wherever possible, bring them home

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Space Corps Directive #003

By joining Star Corps. each individual tacitly consents to give up

his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.

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Space Corps Directive #147

Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel

except on production of a permit. Permits can only be issued by

the Chief Navigation Officer, who is expressly forbidden from issuing

them except on production of a permit.

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Space Corps directive #169

This has something to do with a sacrifice a hologramatic crew

member has to take for the benefit of the rest of the crew. Kryten reminds

Rimmer of this directive when hes mad about the time-sharing idea with Dr.Landstrom.

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Space Corps Directive #195

In an emergency power situation,a hologrammatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crewmembers might survive.

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Space Corps Directive #349

Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a

shape-changing chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.

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Space Corps Directive #592

In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal

rank, seniority will be granted to whichver officer can program a vcr.

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Space Corps directive #595

Allows you to keep people in quarantine for a period of 3 months.

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Space Corps directive #597

One berth per registered crew member.

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Space Corps Directive #699

Crew members can demand a re-screening, when held in quarantine, if after five days, no trace of diease is found they can be released.

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Space Corps Directive #723

Terraformers are expressly forbidden from recreating Swindon.

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Space Corps Directive #997

Work done by an officers doppleganger in a parallel universe

cannot be claimed as overtime.

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Space Corps Directive #1694

During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about

any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years

before he clocked on.

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No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee

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Space Corps Directive #1743

No registered vessel should attempt to transverse an asteroid belt without deflectors.

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Space Corps Directive #5796

No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples

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Space Corps directive #5797

The exact wording of this directive is not known, but, it is invoked to ensure the safety of the crew.

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Space Corps Directive #7214

To perserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers

above the rank of First Technician must, during panto season, be ready to

put on a dress and a pair of false breasts.

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Space Corps Directive #7713

The log must be kept up to date at all times with current service

records, complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew birthdays so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting in the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.

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Space Corps Directive #34124

No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity

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Space Corps Directive #43872

Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only.

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Space Corps Directive #68250

This directive references a ceremony involving the sacrifice of a live chicken and the involvment of a Rabbi.

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Space Corps Directive #98247

No Officer shall be left on an inhabited planet unless he is missing two or more limbs.

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Space Corps Directive #196156

Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the excercise bicycle in the womens gym will be discharged without trial.

There is one Space Corp Directive about removing an irrational person from

duty, Rimmer tries to invoke it against Lister in Rimmerworld. Rimmer gives

the wrong number (196156) however Kryten does not tell him the correct

number, but he quotes the directive Rimmer named and for once Rimmer does

not give the correct number afterward.

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Red Dwarf Additional : Rimmer Directives:

Rimmer Directive #unknown

Never tangle with anything thats got more teeth than the entire Osmond family.

Rimmer Directive #271

No chance you metal bastard.

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All Nations Agreements:

All nations agreement article number 39436175880932/B.

All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space.

All nations agreement article number 39436175880932/C.

P-O-Ws have the right to non-violent constraint.