Based on a document by Charles Daniels
MISSION - It is our primary overriding duty to contact other life forms, exchange information, and, wherever possible, bring them home
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By joining Star Corps. each individual tacitly consents to give up
his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.
Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel
except on production of a permit. Permits can only be issued by
the Chief Navigation Officer, who is expressly forbidden from issuing
them except on production of a permit.
This has something to do with a sacrifice a hologramatic crew
member has to take for the benefit of the rest of the crew. Kryten reminds
Rimmer of this directive when hes mad about the time-sharing idea with Dr.Landstrom.
In an emergency power situation,a hologrammatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crewmembers might survive.
Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a
shape-changing chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.
In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal
rank, seniority will be granted to whichver officer can program a vcr.
Allows you to keep people in quarantine for a period of 3 months.
One berth per registered crew member.
Crew members can demand a re-screening, when held in quarantine, if after five days, no trace of diease is found they can be released.
Terraformers are expressly forbidden from recreating Swindon.
Work done by an officers doppleganger in a parallel universe
cannot be claimed as overtime.
During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about
any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years
before he clocked on.
No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee
No registered vessel should attempt to transverse an asteroid belt without deflectors.
No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples
The exact wording of this directive is not known, but, it is invoked to ensure the safety of the crew.
To perserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers
above the rank of First Technician must, during panto season, be ready to
put on a dress and a pair of false breasts.
The log must be kept up to date at all times with current service
records, complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew birthdays so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting in the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.
No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity
Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only.
This directive references a ceremony involving the sacrifice of a live chicken and the involvment of a Rabbi.
No Officer shall be left on an inhabited planet unless he is missing two or more limbs.
Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the excercise bicycle in the womens gym will be discharged without trial.
There is one Space Corp Directive about removing an irrational person from
duty, Rimmer tries to invoke it against Lister in Rimmerworld. Rimmer gives
the wrong number (196156) however Kryten does not tell him the correct
number, but he quotes the directive Rimmer named and for once Rimmer does
not give the correct number afterward.
Red Dwarf Additional : Rimmer Directives:
Rimmer Directive #unknown
Never tangle with anything thats got more teeth than the entire Osmond family.
Rimmer Directive #271
No chance you metal bastard.
All Nations Agreements:
All nations agreement article number 39436175880932/B.
All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space.
All nations agreement article number 39436175880932/C.
P-O-Ws have the right to non-violent constraint.